The ( Not So) PERFECT Me

Till now, I had striven so hard.. To be perfect...
The perfect daughter,
For my parents to be proud of me.....
To be happy that I was borne to them;
But I never seemed to attain the heights,
Of expectations they had set for me...
And then came my school days,
Where again I strove hard to be accepted
By my peers as well as the teachers..
To be the perfect student, I thought
Straight A's would be the key to it,
Teacher's pet, I'd thought; But then...
I wasn't GOOD, To be among the elite few,
A childish act of madness held against me...
To be the perfect friend, I fought their wars
Their troubles became mine, their sadness.......
Thought they'll be there for me, with me, truly..
Scold me when I'm wrong and correct me,
And if and when I advice, accept it for me...
One says, I'm ITS best friend..
Another, I'm ITS conscience, Yet another says,
I'm the sister IT never had...
Promises meant for a lifetime, but broken fast..
Faster than ice to melt, but hurting all the same..
Yes, I've striven hard for others all my life...
Never for myself, never thought I was meaningless,
But now, forced to face it, I ask myself,
Had I actually made any difference in anyone's life?
Or is it time,to be selfish... Like so many others I see
To a life devoid of any sentiments and feelings?
Or is it time, I withdraw yet again, seeking strength
Within myself, accepting that there won't be anyone
Except my soul and live on...... A false life??
I'm so exhausted, always giving and giving....
Loving and caring with every fibre of my being
To those who may or may not give a dime....
So tired..... So in need of acceptance.......
So in search of that elusive light.... Of Love....