My First Poem

Hey there ....
In my first year, for the Freshers day competition, GENESIS, I took part in the English versification contest and here is my poem...Got 1st for it, I still wonder how??? Don't think I am a depression freak becausethe subject is death...anyway here it is... This is my first foray into serious writing....do post your invaluable comments...

REGRETS

Breaking the silence,
The drizzle & the breeze played their tunes;
I'd like to dance, but could only stare:
Watch as the raindrops continue their soulful dance
Weaving shining paths of purification......
Blissful cold as I lay helpless,
On the metalled blackness, debris surrounding me,
I watch, my blood being washed away
Along with the rivulets of water
Brought down upon the earth, by the heavens unleashed.
These last few moments....... I think back.....
On all that I had left undone;
Unspoken words, which I feared to use
To confess undying and eternal love to my soulmate.....
Fearing rejection, Fearing avoidance,
Fearing a deliberate withdrawal......
A break from our happy-go-lucky relationship
Never once looking on the positive side.
My regrets are numerous ; Profound and deep
Forgotten promises to my parents, Of fulfilling their dreams
Of being by their side, Till the very end,
Of being there to continue their lineage.......
Memories -- a curse ; Remembrance -- a sin ;
How could I forget my dearest friend
Who was with me through thick and thin
Yet to whom I had never taken a moment...
To say or express my love, " Thanks for being there for me"
Or, " I cherish you my dear friend."
Never have been able to bring myself to voice them...
Though I'm sure she would have read my mind.
Our hearts and minds were so in sync,
Still that regret remains deeply etched in my mind.
As the essence of my life is ebbing away from my body
I remember that drunkard, whose perfect driving
Was the sole reason in my being where I am...
I think of him and couldn't find it in myself...
To forgive him....Just plain hatred...
For not giving me a chance, to say all that I'd left unsaid..
And do all that left undone.....
There wasn't enough time for goodbyes, Nor enough words
My life lay strewn around me
Down a ravine, all alone and helpless, I can't do anything about it
Not even to lift my hand in final adieu.

The ( Not So) PERFECT Me

Till now, I had striven so hard.. To be perfect...
The perfect daughter,
For my parents to be proud of me.....
To be happy that I was borne to them;
But I never seemed to attain the heights,
Of expectations they had set for me...
And then came my school days,
Where again I strove hard to be accepted
By my peers as well as the teachers..
To be the perfect student, I thought
Straight A's would be the key to it,
Teacher's pet, I'd thought; But then...
I wasn't GOOD, To be among the elite few,
A childish act of madness held against me...
To be the perfect friend, I fought their wars
Their troubles became mine, their sadness.......
Thought they'll be there for me, with me, truly..
Scold me when I'm wrong and correct me,
And if and when I advice, accept it for me...
One says, I'm ITS best friend..
Another, I'm ITS conscience, Yet another says,
I'm the sister IT never had...
Promises meant for a lifetime, but broken fast..
Faster than ice to melt, but hurting all the same..
Yes, I've striven hard for others all my life...
Never for myself, never thought I was meaningless,
But now, forced to face it, I ask myself,
Had I actually made any difference in anyone's life?
Or is it time,to be selfish... Like so many others I see
To a life devoid of any sentiments and feelings?
Or is it time, I withdraw yet again, seeking strength
Within myself, accepting that there won't be anyone
Except my soul and live on...... A false life??
I'm so exhausted, always giving and giving....
Loving and caring with every fibre of my being
To those who may or may not give a dime....
So tired..... So in need of acceptance.......
So in search of that elusive light.... Of Love....

Music Of the Waves

Walking on the sands of time
I am struck by the aptness of it -
The Music of the Waves.....
Like a never ending symphony
They are there to keep me company
In the loneliness of my heart ;
To soothe my frayed nerves,
To console me, To calm me ,
That I'm not alone
In this madness, In this desperation...
Many have trodden along the same path
Some succeed....Some fail....

Some attracted by the music
As moths to the fire
Little knowing, the attraction is fatal
That their mating is forbidden :
Only one ending possible.

Some overwhelmed by the silence
Repelled by the very thought of it,
Refusing to be goaded into her depths
Try finding the notes of her music.

I am confused, where do i belong?
Here also, In life and in death,
Feeling left out..... Out of Sorts
Heart and mind warring with each other
Am I losing control ? Yes, I must be...
Life's numerous twists stifling me,
I continue walking along the line
Between the spark in me
And the flame in her, and her music...
Hoping to find a solution
And maybe Redemption
Hoping against hope that both
Heart and mind agree with the other
But.... I'm a fighter, Not a coward
Who lets the boulder's in life
Push me down and settle over me ;
So, I walk back, to my world
Echoing what must be for
The zillionth time, " Why me???? "


The sea has never failed to soothe my emotions. As always she helps me reach the peace within myself that I had craved for a long time. The fascination with oceans has been there a long time, it seems. I don't think I would be able to put my love for the waters in words.

If u ask me, HOGWASH!!!!!

Is THIS what I would describe as falling in Love??? I don't think so... Infatuation, maybe....
All the rest is HOGWASH...!!!!!

Relations

I came into this world alone
Upon my birth, I made
Many great relations....
Some lasting, others fading.

With my father – To whom
I am the apple of the eye
Who works hard so that
I needn’t suffer in future
Scolds me because he has
Just my best interests at heart.

With my mother – To whom
I am more precious than
Anything else in this world...
Who became my first friend,
My confidant about my first crush;
And till date remains so –
My bestest friend.
It was her heart that bled
When I scraped my knee
Or when my heart broke..

Then as I grew older
I made many new bonds
Made many great friends
Some closer to my heart,
Some became the best of them all..

Is blood thicker than water??
There have been times when
I have felt so.. Relations do last,
Some just till the newness persists,
Some just out of the necessity of it,
And some others, out of sheer loneliness...
Only very few will be there,
When the need for ’em is greatest..
When I am weak & hurt & alone....

Those that survive the test –
The test by the fire of friendship & trust
Became the ones whom I
Hold close to my heart
Those invaluable jewels who give
As good and better as they receive
Who are strong when I’m weak,
Who turn to me, when they are alone.
Trust should be gained
And once gained should ne’er be broken.

Then suddenly, out of the blue
It hit me one day
I was drifting away from
My mother – my one true great friend..
The one who always stood by me...
Who showed me the path
That was the day I swore to myself...
To embrace all her facets
To keep my time with her sacrosanct..

I came into this world all alone
Made some true relations
Both blood and heart
Hope I made a difference
In all my relations
Before the day comes when I too,
Leave this world to another, all ALONE.