The Se@rch...

"Its not about being happy,
Its about whats best for everyone"
Someone extremely close to me said these words and
they just triggered off the poem which had been echoing
in my mind since then. Only just got over my laziness
to type it up and put it in my blog. Here it goes...

The Search....

Memories, they never fail to change me
The power of our friendship none could see:
Still the strength to cheer me, to lift
My desolate thoughts, in the face of any rift....

Living in the past, that being safe
Nothing could hurt anymore I thought, as the knife
Twisted deeper and gouged out more
Than I had of me....The heart's the core
Just a mass of flesh beating in tandem
With the brain forcing the mind to be random...

Yet, I continued to fight, to remain the same
The fates contrived against it, making a game
Of beating me down, driving the point home
Change is essential; Else aimlessly I roam.

Tears, long since dead on my cheek
Yet I am vulnerable, unknowingly I seek
My better half; My other half; Where have you gone?
The search for you continues, but I remain alone...

Day Out with Mr.Retro #2.. Nostalgia

The same day....
1.30pm..

My CAT classes at T.I.M.E had just gotten over. Since I wanted to see my friend, whom I hadn't seen for over a year, I called him. The guy had just gotten out of his house (I hate waiting!!!!) and was chugging his way on his customized car(one of a kind, u know:)). So i went to the saphalyam complex to get some stuff. Finally Mr.Retro himself made an appearance!!!!!! It felt good to meet him after so long. :) But as before, he was the same. The same criticism, and more sharply cynical. But, he still remained one person who really spoke his mind. Not buttering anyone up...

Anyway, after roaming around saphalyam for some time, we decided to go to our old "battlefield"- the famed St.Thomas school campus. And.....





I got a ride in his customized one of a kind gaadi.... Lols, a black Fiat, and there exists only a couple of the same model in trivandrum, he tells me.
And then, we reached St.Thomas campus. Was nice, visiting the school on a Saturday... No one around. Just the security and the odd stragglers. The campus had undergone lots of changes. Roamed around the place for quite some time, and then Azeef dropped me back home.
cried the car as he braked in front of the lane.
Then we said goodbye and I went home...

Dint get to see him before he went back again... :(

But then, it was a great day, remembering all the school days.. The fun and the frolic..
The memories, they never cease to exist do they...?????

Day Out with Mr. Retro #1

Part 1
11.10.2008 , Saturday....
2.15 am

The day had a not so great beginning with me being awaken from my sleep by one of my friends, Ali. He had called me because I had asked him to call when he was free, though I didn't expect him to call in the wee hours of the morning. As I was just about to slip into mi dream world, another friend, Azeef, called me..
The conversation went like this,
me (groggily): Hello
Azeef(bright as the sun): Hellooooo, di... Urakkam aayirunnoo?????
me: ardharathri vilich eneepichit urakkam aayirunno ennooo??? Hmpf...
Azeef: Hehe.. blah blah blah.... nee nale athiravile 10 am aakumbol enne vilich eneepikkuvanel we'll meet tomorrow.
m: ok... goodnight.. see you tomorrow..!!

My First Poem

Hey there ....
In my first year, for the Freshers day competition, GENESIS, I took part in the English versification contest and here is my poem...Got 1st for it, I still wonder how??? Don't think I am a depression freak becausethe subject is death...anyway here it is... This is my first foray into serious writing....do post your invaluable comments...

REGRETS

Breaking the silence,
The drizzle & the breeze played their tunes;
I'd like to dance, but could only stare:
Watch as the raindrops continue their soulful dance
Weaving shining paths of purification......
Blissful cold as I lay helpless,
On the metalled blackness, debris surrounding me,
I watch, my blood being washed away
Along with the rivulets of water
Brought down upon the earth, by the heavens unleashed.
These last few moments....... I think back.....
On all that I had left undone;
Unspoken words, which I feared to use
To confess undying and eternal love to my soulmate.....
Fearing rejection, Fearing avoidance,
Fearing a deliberate withdrawal......
A break from our happy-go-lucky relationship
Never once looking on the positive side.
My regrets are numerous ; Profound and deep
Forgotten promises to my parents, Of fulfilling their dreams
Of being by their side, Till the very end,
Of being there to continue their lineage.......
Memories -- a curse ; Remembrance -- a sin ;
How could I forget my dearest friend
Who was with me through thick and thin
Yet to whom I had never taken a moment...
To say or express my love, " Thanks for being there for me"
Or, " I cherish you my dear friend."
Never have been able to bring myself to voice them...
Though I'm sure she would have read my mind.
Our hearts and minds were so in sync,
Still that regret remains deeply etched in my mind.
As the essence of my life is ebbing away from my body
I remember that drunkard, whose perfect driving
Was the sole reason in my being where I am...
I think of him and couldn't find it in myself...
To forgive him....Just plain hatred...
For not giving me a chance, to say all that I'd left unsaid..
And do all that left undone.....
There wasn't enough time for goodbyes, Nor enough words
My life lay strewn around me
Down a ravine, all alone and helpless, I can't do anything about it
Not even to lift my hand in final adieu.

The ( Not So) PERFECT Me

Till now, I had striven so hard.. To be perfect...
The perfect daughter,
For my parents to be proud of me.....
To be happy that I was borne to them;
But I never seemed to attain the heights,
Of expectations they had set for me...
And then came my school days,
Where again I strove hard to be accepted
By my peers as well as the teachers..
To be the perfect student, I thought
Straight A's would be the key to it,
Teacher's pet, I'd thought; But then...
I wasn't GOOD, To be among the elite few,
A childish act of madness held against me...
To be the perfect friend, I fought their wars
Their troubles became mine, their sadness.......
Thought they'll be there for me, with me, truly..
Scold me when I'm wrong and correct me,
And if and when I advice, accept it for me...
One says, I'm ITS best friend..
Another, I'm ITS conscience, Yet another says,
I'm the sister IT never had...
Promises meant for a lifetime, but broken fast..
Faster than ice to melt, but hurting all the same..
Yes, I've striven hard for others all my life...
Never for myself, never thought I was meaningless,
But now, forced to face it, I ask myself,
Had I actually made any difference in anyone's life?
Or is it time,to be selfish... Like so many others I see
To a life devoid of any sentiments and feelings?
Or is it time, I withdraw yet again, seeking strength
Within myself, accepting that there won't be anyone
Except my soul and live on...... A false life??
I'm so exhausted, always giving and giving....
Loving and caring with every fibre of my being
To those who may or may not give a dime....
So tired..... So in need of acceptance.......
So in search of that elusive light.... Of Love....

Music Of the Waves

Walking on the sands of time
I am struck by the aptness of it -
The Music of the Waves.....
Like a never ending symphony
They are there to keep me company
In the loneliness of my heart ;
To soothe my frayed nerves,
To console me, To calm me ,
That I'm not alone
In this madness, In this desperation...
Many have trodden along the same path
Some succeed....Some fail....

Some attracted by the music
As moths to the fire
Little knowing, the attraction is fatal
That their mating is forbidden :
Only one ending possible.

Some overwhelmed by the silence
Repelled by the very thought of it,
Refusing to be goaded into her depths
Try finding the notes of her music.

I am confused, where do i belong?
Here also, In life and in death,
Feeling left out..... Out of Sorts
Heart and mind warring with each other
Am I losing control ? Yes, I must be...
Life's numerous twists stifling me,
I continue walking along the line
Between the spark in me
And the flame in her, and her music...
Hoping to find a solution
And maybe Redemption
Hoping against hope that both
Heart and mind agree with the other
But.... I'm a fighter, Not a coward
Who lets the boulder's in life
Push me down and settle over me ;
So, I walk back, to my world
Echoing what must be for
The zillionth time, " Why me???? "


The sea has never failed to soothe my emotions. As always she helps me reach the peace within myself that I had craved for a long time. The fascination with oceans has been there a long time, it seems. I don't think I would be able to put my love for the waters in words.

If u ask me, HOGWASH!!!!!

Is THIS what I would describe as falling in Love??? I don't think so... Infatuation, maybe....
All the rest is HOGWASH...!!!!!

Relations

I came into this world alone
Upon my birth, I made
Many great relations....
Some lasting, others fading.

With my father – To whom
I am the apple of the eye
Who works hard so that
I needn’t suffer in future
Scolds me because he has
Just my best interests at heart.

With my mother – To whom
I am more precious than
Anything else in this world...
Who became my first friend,
My confidant about my first crush;
And till date remains so –
My bestest friend.
It was her heart that bled
When I scraped my knee
Or when my heart broke..

Then as I grew older
I made many new bonds
Made many great friends
Some closer to my heart,
Some became the best of them all..

Is blood thicker than water??
There have been times when
I have felt so.. Relations do last,
Some just till the newness persists,
Some just out of the necessity of it,
And some others, out of sheer loneliness...
Only very few will be there,
When the need for ’em is greatest..
When I am weak & hurt & alone....

Those that survive the test –
The test by the fire of friendship & trust
Became the ones whom I
Hold close to my heart
Those invaluable jewels who give
As good and better as they receive
Who are strong when I’m weak,
Who turn to me, when they are alone.
Trust should be gained
And once gained should ne’er be broken.

Then suddenly, out of the blue
It hit me one day
I was drifting away from
My mother – my one true great friend..
The one who always stood by me...
Who showed me the path
That was the day I swore to myself...
To embrace all her facets
To keep my time with her sacrosanct..

I came into this world all alone
Made some true relations
Both blood and heart
Hope I made a difference
In all my relations
Before the day comes when I too,
Leave this world to another, all ALONE.

To you, my dear bro....

Years may pass and times may change
But I know you'll still be by my side
You were always there to share my joys
And take away all the pain
I found a brother in you, my dear friend
Who is supporting and caring and spreads happiness
By being who you are
Never lose your faith in yourself
Life may try and beat you down
When the going gets tough, the tough gets going...
Stronger may you be for you are unique
Truly blessed is what I am to have
Forged a never diminishing bond with you
Even though we are miles apart....
It feels good to know you are always there
To listen to me, to talk to me,
Someone to whom I can spill all my secrets to,
To guide me and keep the smile on my face always...
Don't ever fall down, brother dear...
Cause you are truly SPECIAL....

Driving force

I have just discovered the one true emotion which fuels me.... Spurs me to achieve what I haven't thought I could do till then... To achieve greater heights... It ain't love, it ain't friendship, it ain't any of such emotions.
Don't take me in the wrong sense, but that emotion is HATRED. It had been my driving force back when I was in school though I had not realised that till now. Usually I give my 100% in almost everything I do and normally nothing goes wrong. But if it does and someone backstabs me, then there is no stopping me. In school the driving force had been my hatred against the School management which had always turned a blind eye to me. It is one thing to be beaten down, its another to be ignored totally....as if your existence doesn't matter at all..I did manage my revenge though towards the end, I didn't have the physical strength for it. Anyway finally after 2 years of my B.tech life, I have got my driving force back again. From the bottom of my heart I thank all my friends for recreating the old me.

THANK YOU ALL !!!!!!!!

Itz been a while....

I know it has been some time since I blogged.. It's not that I didn't have any noteworthy thoughts but that I was having my S4 university exams and that it was a matter of my pride that I do well for these exams. Then again, when I do get thoughts I scribble them down somewhere and more often than not I lose them. Finally comes my inherent laziness in typing stuff down. I know, I should be more diligent and at least try and be a regular blogger. Anyway since this is the way to channel my energy and thoughts right now, I do believe I'll be posting more regularly from now on.
Stay in touch.....

Why is there EXAMS???

Life is already pretty bad as it is. Add to it the stress and tension of having to perform well for the university exams whose purpose completely eludes me. Being an engineering student, in trivandrum I am lorded by the Kerala University which has the done the IMMENSELY great thing by putting both S3 and S4 exams on adjacent days. With the present timetable I'd have exams on 5,6,7 and 8 of August. Why bother putting exams? Exams are there to test a student on his skills and knowledge, NOT to impress upon him/her what all he doesn't know. Granted the majority of the student community are the followers of last minute study. But the University officials shouldn't do this sort of cruelty to the students.
And what about the purpose of exams? All we ever do is cram some stuff up and go vomit it in the answer paper. Those who have better cramming capacity do well. Those who try to understand and apply it in real life suffer. And the industries?? They are in need of people who apply their knowledge, not a bunch of geeks. Anyway, I alone cannot change the exam pattern. So let me go CRAM.......

Love's Loss

I’m never going to say a word....

Of what’s burning inside of me,

Just carry on, as if all’s fine

As if life is one big puppet show

Being pulled this way and that

By strings of unseen forces;

Unknown emotions.

Hadn’t wanted to love you,

Never want to lose you

Why??? Why did I had to

Fall for you of all?

Factions of my body constantly

Warring o’er this – my heart & head

Time and again, I feel alone

No one to listen to my silent sobs...

The green eyed monster rears up his head

Tongue darting, teeth baring, stifling me

Learnt to endure him now....

Making me feel helpless

Just like a newborn babe.

I want to listen to my mind

But am scared...very much so...

Don’t want my heart, broken & bleeding

I bottle up my feelings;

Disguise them with other emotions

Care, friendship, trust and the like..

What do I do?? Wait for it to pass??

But, WILL it??

Deep within me, I know

I would love you from afar

Keeping the smile on my face

However hard it becomes to...

Love’s a double edged sword

Sharp enough to draw blood

Strong enough to defend loved ones

At times, bringing hurt and havoc

At times, bringing care and peace

Till eternity, my love would remain

Never will I say goodbye

To you, my dear.......

I’m holding on... with a love

Strong enough , to make me or break me

But no, I would keep it all inside

Wouldn’t want anyone to know

I’m walking on a gossamer thin thread

And there’s nothing... none at all

To break my fall.

The Broken Blade

When I woke up I was alone.... I searched for my shadow. It was not there....Then I suddenly realized that I was in the shadowless land of the Elven Kingdom. This was one of the numerous quirks of the shadowless land. Here I was, Majestic, the vampire slayeress, in the Elven Kingdom waiting for the greatest vampire ever, Draco. I suddenly remembered what it was that woke me up. It was that tried and tested female intuition pricking. I knew for sure that there was an enemy lurking nearby. It was the unbearable stench of thousands of rotten eggs and H₂S that woke me up. Instantly I realized that this was going to be one great fight.

I cautiously stood up and got out of my room.

CRRREEEEEAAAAAAAAAKKKK........

The door hinges made an abominable noise.. “ I’m dead,” I thought with consternation. Whoever was there lurking in the shadows knew that I was up and among the living. He would be aware of each and every movement of mine. In a profession where stealth and secrecy was considered more important than skill, I knew I was doomed.

I moved to the next room, took out my Calvin Klein and daubed it liberally on a scarf and tied it around my nose and mouth.

There, at least that would take care of the creature’s stench.

I walked down carefully and stealthily taking particular care not to make any more noise. I neared the basement where the stench was concentrated the most. As soon as I stepped into the semidarkness, I was forced backward by the thrust of a sword at my chest. I was more than angry at this intrusion on my privacy and sneaky attack.

Who was this vampire who was this arrogant???? – I thought

After a few nano seconds my night vision goggles gave me a clear view of the basement room. What I saw through them stunned me to silence. It was neither the arrogant armadillos not the zooming zamborginis. This was one of the greatest vampires ever, with an ear splitting voice, Reshammiya... Himesh Reshammiya. His canines long and sharp and waiting to sink into my pretty neck. I knew that to defeat him, I would have to use brains and beauty along with my skill and experience.

He started circling me like a born fighter. Both of us were waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally, I got irritated and thrust my sword at him with the speed of lightning. Using a move right out of the Bond movies, Himesh sidestepped me and blocked all my attacks quite easily. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that my 2 comrades, Layla and Tanisha, were chained at 2 corners of the room. All of a sudden the gravity of the situation hit me..... My very able and skilled friends chained to the pillars. How rude of Himesh to do that!! He must have known that we slayers hate losing our independence more than anything.....even death....

For the first time since I came into this profession as vampire slayer, I felt fear. Fear that Himesh, one of the greatest vampires ever would get the better of me. We parried for a while. One of his thrusts were so vicious that it broke the blade of my sword into two !! The finest sword forged by the elven kings of Daggerknoff was into 2 pieces.......

“ Booooooooo hooooooooo............Sniff Sniff “

I started crying. I couldn’t control my grief. My best sword...... in 2 pieces. My grief was beyond control.....My tears were coming down in torrents. Even the vampire Himesh was stunned. Soon he started to get panicky, because my tears were starting to fill up the room. Being a slayeress, my tears had the property of not causing harm to myself or fellow slayers...... Pretty soon, Himesh was at my feet, begging forgiveness.... Pleading for his life.... Kissing my feet even.....

At that moment I realized that my dog was licking my feet......

YEEEOOOOWWWWWWWWW.......................

Licking my FEEEETTTT.....yuck yuck...

I scrambled up from my bed and realized that my feet didn’t need a wash. Tommy had licked them pretty thoroughly. I was just about to slip back to my slumber and dreams of Himesh Reshammiya begging my forgiveness when the alarm started ringing.

TRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 o clock

I got up from my bed and started searching for my books which also doubled up as my pillow. There goes my internal mark.... Writing stuff about Himesh Reshammiya begging me or having dreams or fantasies was not going to help me get a pass for the exams....and without passing, I might as well search for a tent to live in when my parents chuck me out.

SIGH...

Back to the real world and so on to exams !!!!

Ikka's Job and Farewell Treat...

The day dawned bright with a slight hint of clouds in the horizon.

Today was the much awaited JOB TREAT by one of my seniors, Siraj ikka, who had gotten placed with AREVA..Me, Shanky and Richard were the guests..All of us decided on the memento to give ikka and I reached ZZ (hotel) by 12.20 pm, got the table and as usual had to wait for the guys to arrive.. Poor me...During the time I saw a lot of people I knew trooping around, looking for seats (as usual the restaurant was crowded) and people were throwing me nasty looks for sitting at a table for 4, all alone. Thankfully Richu and Shanky arrived just when the waiters were thinking about throwing me out and giving the table to someone else...PHEW..!! Anyway, the host still hadn't arrived because of some TECHNICAL problems at his hostel (read as water shortage)..He told us to order for him also and he'll be arriving shortly.The food arrived and the host arrived in time just in time, coz to put food in front of Richu was like putting fire near petrol..(his words..!!) Anyway we all had a lovely time, gave ikka, our gift..Gave my autograph book back..Somehow it just seemed like a regular going out with friends lunch. But then, come tomorrow Siraj ikka would be going to his native place and then in July for his training... I wonder when I would see you again...

Siraj Ikka, a friend, a brother, a mentor like no one I have come across in my life...was leaving. Mentally, yes, I was prepared for it. After all he was 2 years my senior. But emotionally, I guess I was not. I had always thought the day he would be saying ALVIDA to the college and to all of us was still quite sometime away.. How time slips away from you, just like holding water in your hands. It escapes even if you try holding it with utmost care.. You will be sorely missed, Siraj Ikka...Hope to see you in a high position later on in life... All the best to you, my dear friend...

P.S: when I am in need of your advice the most, I know you'll be there for me.

An Unexpected HARTAL

June 27- Friday was an unexpected holiday which caused as much trouble as the joy upon hearing it was one...Because the day had been declared a HARTAL by the BJP who claim their seemingly peaceful protest against a new school textbook was violently disrupted by the the joint forces of the DYFI and the police. Now, first and foremost let me ask one question...Does calling a hartal bring solace or heal the wounds of the injured activists? Does it solve the quarrel over the textbook? Do they believe they can gain the peoples' support by calling a hartal which disrupts the life of a normal man? I CERTAINLY DON'T THINK SO..The only ones who love a hartal are the children, who love any reason for an unexpected holiday. Let me tell you the hardships my friends who live near my college CET, would have faced on an average hartal day. Since there is an absolute lack of transport on a hartal and also as my college is on the outskirts of the city, not even the occational auto would be plying. The students who need to go someplace have to rely on either the muscle power of their legs or catch a lift from someone who owns a vehicle. Then, there is the more urgent matter of food.No hotels, no shops....NOTHING.. Thankfully, this time around the college union made sure that the Canteen would be working. And then there was the inconvenience caused to many. Like for me, Friday was the last day before study holidays..the last day I would have gotten to see everyone together before the exams. I guess the politicians wouldn't understand the emotional turmoils and damage they cause by calling a hartal. Is this the only way they can voice their protests and woes? And do they gain anything..?? NADA..ZILCH...

To my Best Friend..... Love u loads !!!!!

The one person to whom I can tell my soul to fearlessly..
Who can relate to me like no other,
With whom I can laugh endlessly,
To whom I can cry when the times are tough,
Who always helps me with the problems of my life,
With whom I fight with, over petty reasons,
Who can bring a smile on my face, no matter what...
Never've you turned your back on me,
Or told me I wasn't good enough, or let me down
I don't think you know what that means to me..
You've gone through so much pain
Yet you still find time for me..
I love u for listening, even when you are hurting inside..
I look upto you, because inside yourself,
You are strong & caring & sensitive & beautiful,
Even though, at times you don't think you are..
You've given me your strength when I'm weak,
And I hope you'll let me be yours
I hope you know that I'll always be there for you..
Whether to laugh or cry or help you in all the ways I can..
Though in your words, I'm OBSESSED and PARANOID,
I wouldn't be the person I'm today without you, my dear..
Just don't shut me out of your mind,
My dear dearest BEST FRIEND...

P.S: The following lyrics of a new song has stuck
to my mind for quite some time now...
"रोते है हम भी अगर तेरे आंखों में आँसू आते है......"
The whole hearted smile suits you better my dear best friend...

Nights' Goodbyes.....

The blackness of the night offered no solution
To ease the warring factions within my mind...
What Ought I do? Yet to find
The strength and words to say, "Goodbye."

In the Twilight hour, I find hating myself
To be the one vested with the power to hurt
Madness, on the fringes of memory seem to lurk..
Resenting my happiness, only sorrow and anguish left.

Like shining teardrops, the stars twinkle at me;
I close my eyes, trying to embrace the darkness deep,
Your words rings in my mind, eluding sleep
Not meant to be; All the promises like glass...Broken.

The darkness deepens...Clouds blotting the stars;
I close my mind, submitting myself to the One above...
To those who brought me to this world, leave everythng, I vow
Daring not to think about how barren life was.

The silence widens the chasm between us
Its mysterious depths beyond both you and I,
Until the day when my soul will soar and fly....
Just a word before ending it all..S O R R Y .

Love Letter Technically....

To the one who makes my heart do flipflops,

The first time my visual detectors spotted you in their range , my sensors responded that you were someone of my same frequency.....someone whose highly electrophilic nature and my nucleophilic nature was sure to create sparks ; whether they were destructive or constructive I had no idea...... Initially I thought that we were destined to be parallel paths but now my transducer wants them to intersect. You are just like a 100 watt incandescent lamp bulb whose presence lightens up my entire day. Every time you come in my field of vision , my heart starts racing like a 6- stroke engine powered by extra premium petrol fuel. Sometimes the control rod of my mind feels that you are the torque which helps the centrifugal pump of my heart ,beat with double the horsepower. Do not think that my love for you is like a sine wave. I assure you that it is congruent to a tan wave.

Your eyes...... those dark brown orbs with whose laser like intensity you magnetise and demagnetize me repeatedly, I feel I am undergoing hysteresis loops. I know that you are a high flying Concorde and that you’ll take a long time to land. But I believe I can attain Mach 3 speeds along with you. I swear, you are the best heart surgeon in the world , even though you are studying engineering..... because you made a place in my entire heart without any drilling machine or scalpels..... without even shedding an ounce of the viscous fluid blood. The very thought of you ignites my mind and short circuits its wiring systems. Loving you is a risk which has the probability of being blown away by an electric shock when testing a circuitry without insulation. But that is a risk my logical systems has to take .... for the sake of my illogical systems’ satisfaction. My love for you is as pure as 24 carat gold.

As with any couple there will be many undulations in our universe also but I am confident that we will level them as we have very strong and deep pile foundation in our friendship and concrete bonding. There will be many resistances to our bonding but with you as my pair, I have the energy to transform them into conductances just like the inverse function.

The reactions going on in my head were reaching critical temperatures , so I decided my undying love for you had to be proclaimed rather than letting it consume me in its highly spontaneous and exothermic reactions. I have realized that you are the core around which the search coils of my circuits were wound and that your response will trip my life forever.

Being a resistor or a conductor to my move is all upto you , but that wouldn’t change my graph at all. Please integrate my love for you by applying limits from 0 to infinity. I am just like ex which remains unchanged whether differentiation or integration comes along.

Without you , I’m like a rectifier without diode . You are as essential to me as fuel to an engine ; as a king post truss to the castle of my 3-D imagery. Please don’t let my heart remain unresolved for as long as Permat ‘s theorem.

I LOVE YOU , my source of imagination, my inspiration ........... my dear dearest !!!!!!!


Till the fuel of my life ebbs away from me ,

Forever and ever yours